Mid-Portal Transformations
October is already living up to its promise of unconditional morphing. We are distilled into our cores so that any and all forward movement happens from an inner well of authenticity. That word is bandied about quite a bit at present, but how does an authentic self function through us, as us? How are we that, when the world so often dictates otherwise?
Are we honest with ourselves, or are we self-gaslighting? Where do we tell ourselves some things are true, and act as if, when there is no firm foundation beneath those feelings and actions? This is not to focus on issues, so-called problems, or what we might think needs ‘fixing.’ This is re-growing our bodies and our lives from the fertile soil that truly lies within.
What if old foundations no longer exist? Where will the elementals of our manifestational abilities look for support?
Once upon a scream, a confused gardener cut down five trees along the back fence of my home. I returned home from work to the long face of the one who was supposed to have been supervising, saying, “Don’t go up on the deck.” As if. The stumps of what had been 20-30-foot-tall Chinese cherry trees were screaming. I almost lost consciousness; it was so intense. As I slumped to the deck, still in my work clothes, tears gushed from my eyes and heart. And then, I felt all of nature rising up, an entire planet supporting not only my body and my grief, but new growth, however that might happen. The root systems of the world had already rallied in sending the energies of new life into my garden and my body. My tears of anguish turned into holy gushers of joy.
Nevertheless, when I could stand again, I demanded of the long-faced one, “How could you let this happen? You were supposed to supervise!” I had been present two days before when the gardener received instructions to carefully prune a few branches. No chainsaws necessary. How could this massacre have happened? The answer was simple. “I had something else to do and I left.” A foundational agreement had been violated. The betrayal felt devastating. This person could not be trusted. I had suspected as much, but told myself I was wrong and unfair. As it turned out, the gardener had sent one of his employees to do the job, and not been clear. Or so he said. What remained true was that five beautiful trees had been slaughtered.
I sat with the stumps for two days. I sat on the pile of logs the workers had neatly stacked on my deck, feeling the life slowly seep out of them. The trees seemed to appreciate that I had heard and felt their initial screams. Or was that an imagined scenario in my mind? Over and over, I thought, “If only I had been here to protect them!” The raw stumps and still-green logs emanated laughter. “What is, is. Let the grief go. Surrender.”
Two weeks later, the sprouting began. Within six weeks, 14-inch sprouts manifested their intent to become saplings. I had already planted a new tree in the corner of the garden that had once sheltered my deck from a neighbor’s view. Another neighbor subsequently insisted that the young redwood be removed, as it would grow too high and too quickly. They liked their new clear view of the bay. The saplings were soon joined by young trees, carefully planted by a new gardener and his wife. New foundations. New reality. I observed as old stumps split, fragmented, and composted into new earth.
This, we are experiencing now. Many fractals of reality will shatter this month. It has already begun. What will we allow to grow in their place? Will we release the illusion of control so that new foundations can be built?
What a marvelous adventure we are embodying.
Infinite love ~
